Something that I discovered early on, actually back in my first year of college, was that the feelings of attraction don’t know if you are in a relationship or not. Allow me to expound on this some more. Jackie a good friend of mine got married to a guy that she had been seeing for quite a long time during our first year of college. They had a mid sized ceremony with the usual festivities. After a few months had gone by after thier wedding, I got a call from a stressed out friend. It was Jackie, she was having second thoughts about being married. I, of course like a good friend asked what was going on and what had happened that was giving her second thoughts.
Jackie went on to tell me the story of this guy that she hit it off with at college. She told me that she felt a deep attraction to this guy and he asked her out. She was quick to tell me that she told him that she was married. Even though Jackie felt it to be dishonest she couldn’t help but feel drawn to a new relationship with the other guy.
What took Jackie by surprise was that even though she was committed to her husband she was developing feelings toward another person. One of the things that make us adults is that we do not have to act on our feelings for another person while in a committed relationship. It is all right to be attracted to somebody but not all right to act on it.
Jackie needed to decide whether this new guy was worth messing up her current great relationship. As time passed Jackie’s infatuation with the other guy faded and she is still happily married. Jackie eventually spoke to her husband about the attraction. Open communication in any relationship is important to its’ sustainability.
Since Jackie and her husband spoke candidly they knew how to deal with her challenges of attraction the next time it happened. In fact several years have passed since that first incident and she and her husband now have a somewhat open relationship. It turned out that the next attraction challenge she had was with another woman. Jackie and her husband discussed how to deal with the situation and decided that Jackie would see this woman on occasion. Jackie admits to a disire to be with women however still doesn’t consider herself to be gay.
Jackie’s married relationship is many years old now and her husband and she have morphed into full-blown swingers and are currently utilizing man seeking man gay hookup sites such as gay friend finder for her husband to explore his attractions with. I personally believe that this type of relationship isn’t for everybody but, what made their relationship work for them was the fact that they kept the lines of communication open without judgment. The most important aspect of any committed relationship in my opinion is communication. Without communication you have nothing. You can’t expect your lover to instinctively figure out what you are thinking, sometimes you need to communicate the issues that you are experiencing. If the lines of communication are kept open without judgment you will be surprised at the many challenges a couple can work through. Just remember you as a couple decide how your relationship will work. Every relationship is different and you together with your partner mold and craft that relationship to your individual and collective happiness.